First, let me just say that I pretty much suck at this whole blogging consistently. However, I am trying to be a responsible adult. The first thing I did was find someone to edit my posts (I’m terrified of the judgment since I think in Spanish and write in English), second thing I’m going to do is complete the blog challenge I started. But first, a whole new blog!
I’m going through a major change. Not only did I turn the big 2-5 (is that even a relevant age) but I decided that this year will be my most selfish one yet. What does that mean? To me it means that if you are not doing anything to contribute to my well being you are gone!
I started with my closet; I have an unnecessary amount of shoes and clothing. So I decided I was going to do major facelift to my step-in closet. Getting rid of clothes was easy, I just had to try it on, hate it on the spot and move on. My shoes, on the other hand, were a different story. You see, I intend to be the next Imelda Marcos, not the whole bad politician but the obsessive shoe owner side of her. I was only able to give away one pair, and it was these ugly red suede boots I got a long time ago because they were on sale. Anyway back to the point of this blog post. As I was deciding what shoes I would keep I realized I was justifying why I was keeping them. You know the whole “well I can use them with so many outfits” or “I know I have another pair of black leather pumps but these have a vintage feel to them.” Trust me all these were valid arguments in my head. There was one problem… I realized I did the same thing to my memories.
If you’ve read my blog before you know I talked about a significant other. We were together for a little over 7 months. Honestly the ending is such a blur that it could be more like 8 months. All of it was long distance. I have no actual memories of things we did together which is a problem because I tend to embellish my memories with feelings. What I mean is that I will recall what I was doing and then I will “remember” how I felt. With this person I over-embellish. There was nothing nice about the long, drawn out break up. It was difficult, painful and funny. If I told you the story you would just have to laugh at how ridiculous it was. The thing is that when I remember it, now that this person is finally living in the same state, I don’t completely recall the crappy ending; I remember the sweet texts that have been deleted, the falling asleep together via Skype and our weird Voxer phase. Even now as I write this I realize I’m making it seem better than it was sometimes.
This year will be my most selfish year because I refuse to keep shoes that hurt my feet (although I might keep my wonderful 5 inch nude pumps). I refuse to let anyone that hurt me, made me think less of myself and even question my values back into my life. So readers, be selfish, don’t justify their actions, do what makes you happy and content. Only do those things that add to your life and allow you to sleep in peace. Be grown!
Until next time when I just have to vent about something vintage (my ex) that wants to make it into my modern life,
Monday, April 28, 2014
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